Although I haven't seen the movie yet, I know that when it comes to having kids, there will be a point in time when something starts to bleed. It's just something you have to be ready for.
Last weekend, our neighbor Kelly had a little get together at her place. Being the good neighbors that we are, I stopped up to loan her a board game. Her boyfriend offered me a glass of wine which turned into another and another. Rick joined me. We stayed for dinner and another drink. At 1:20 in the morning Rick and I finally realized that we had been drinking for several hours and it was time to go to bed. We are too old for this stuff. Before tucking in for the night, I put a little wish out into the world in hopes that Ada would be a good girl and sleep in for loopy mommy and daddy. Too bad she didn't have her wish catcher on that night. She woke up at 5:15 with her lungs on full force and her voice at maximum volume -- or so it seemed from the inside of my hangover.
My mom always tells the story of how she decided it wasn't worthwhile to drink once she had kids. She went out and had a couple of drinks and then had to come home and change a diaper while slightly intoxicated. "Never again." is how she put it. I have to agree with her on this one. The older I get, the less I want to drink and the more frequently I hear myself saying, "I'm done. I'm never going to drink again. It isn't worth it." I don't know what it is but I'm not a good drinker. I don't have a high tolerance, or any tolerance really. I don't like beer. I never feel that great after more than 2 or 3 glasses of wine. And I tend to forget "when to say when" if I'm drinking mixed beverages. One chocolate martini is so good that "no one can eat just one" right? It's the potato chip theory of drinking. It doesn't happen often but when it does, I die for a day and come back chanting "I'm never drinking again." It's that bad.
So here we are. Hung over. Tired. Feeling the effects of almost turning 30. And Ada decides to get up at 5:15. What luck! Rick was a gem and took the first shift. I think that got me to 7 am maybe. Then it was my turn. I decided Ada could have a play date with herself in her room while I hid under a big pillow and blanket on her floor. I sacrificed myself as a human jungle gym and tried to stay somewhat coherent in order to keep her safe. She managed to knock the garbage can over a few times but other than that, my plan was working beautifully until... WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! She burst into hysterical screams. I instinctively jump up to see what's going on and see that she has a little bit of blood in her mouth. Instantly I think, "What have I done? I'm such a bad mom". I'm trying to assess the situation as my head is throbbing and she's screaming and I'm yelling for Rick in my "get your ass in here right now" tone of voice. He's slow moving as he had a few adult beverages the night before as well. After a few minutes of calming Ada down and trying to see what's bleeding, and calming myself down as the adrenaline and alcohol remnants are having a major war throughout my system, we realize that she has just nicked her frenulum between her upper teeth and upper lip. It wasn't a lot of blood and it had already stopped within a couple of minutes but it was still enough to freak the crap out of us. I guess that's one way to make your parents wake up when they want to sleep in. Very effective.
Moral of the story: Don't drink. Don't let you kid play with a stupid construction cone your dad gets from a work conference as it might have sharp edges. And don't panic if you see a little blood. Take a deep breath. Stay calm. And try to do what's best for your baby. Then have a drink to settle your nerves...just kidding.