Milestones & Comparisons

Second kids totally get overlooked when it comes to milestones and their development. I find myself constantly comparing Iain to Ada when she was his age, and ignoring all of his "firsts". Just this past weekend, I wrote up an instruction manual for the grandparents detailing how to take care of the kids, what they eat and their sleep schedules. Rick's parents were a bit shocked when they put Iain on the floor in their living room, went to get something out of the kitchen and returned to the sight of him on his back up against a piece of furniture. Whoops! It just slipped my mind that he can roll over. I've only seen him do it about five times. I can never get him to repeat it. And it's only from his tummy to his back one way. With Ada, that would have been a big deal and I would have called everyone to exclaim my excitement. With Iain, eh. So what? I've been there and done that once already. Next. I should have included it in the manual since he technically could have rolled off a bed or something. But then again, Ada rolled off the bed and the couch a couple of times and was just fine. So what? It's not that big of a deal.

Iain is also really good at sitting up on his own now. That might qualify as a milestone. I've also already trimmed his hair once or twice. And I didn't save a lock of his hair like I did for Ada. He'll probably hate me when he's older for that. (I'm really not all that worried.) And I'll admit that I don't check his mouth every morning to see if he has a tooth yet. I figure one day he'll bite me and I'll notice it. I'm just so much more laid back with him since I've been through all of it with Ada and I've never really been a sappy, sentimental, helicopter mom.

Lately, I've been comparing the two kids a lot more. Primarily since I left Iain with Kelly and Krissie, our neighbors, while I went to pick Ada up from daycare since it has been really cold out. Both times I returned to find Iain screaming his head off.  Nothing they did could please him until he saw me walk back into the room, and then he was fine. Ada had some separation anxiety but only for about two minutes while she still thought I was on the other side of the door and then she was over it. Ada loved strangers. Iain, not so much.

Ada also wasn't bothered by loud noises. Iain hates it when you sneeze, laugh loudly, clap your hands, or pretty much when Ada makes any noise that isn't a whisper. And then we have noticed that he giggles and laughs already. I'm not sure that Ada ever giggled or laughed at his age, or even older. She's always had a bit of a forced laugh that sometimes seems fake. She slept through the night really early on whereas he took his time to get to that point--but he is technically sleeping through the night now so that's another milestone I failed to report.

Part of my laissez-faire attitude might be enhanced by him being a boy and me thinking he won't be soon sentimental when he is older. But I think it has a lot more to do with the novelty wearing off a bit and the fact that I have less time to focus and celebrate his every move. It's probably a good thing that we are done having kids since each subsequent child would receive even less attention and eventually I wouldn't even know how many I had or what their names were. I'm sticking with two and I'll try to be better about tracking his real milestones. Crawling and walking will at least make the cut.

Moral of the story: Try to accept that each of your children will be very different and learn to appreciate those differences. And try to acknowledge each milestone for all of your children, even if only briefly.

Translation Please

Ada has been slow to talk for her age. We haven't been concerned with her development necessarily, but we have been keeping a close eye on her progress and watching for signs that she was struggling or falling too far behind. In the past, we assumed that, since Ada was so big for her age, she was putting all of her efforts into growing instead of her speech and language. More recently, I was encouraged by a few friends to have her evaluated by a speech therapist to see just how delayed she was and if she would benefit from some speech therapy. I haven't figured out how the program in the city works quite yet, but we got a referral from her doctor and got the process started. Last week, she met with an Audiologist to have her hearing tested and passed with flying colors. Next week she meets with a Speech Therapist and a Behaviorist to see if she is more than 30% delayed for her age. If she is, she would qualify for an Early Intervention program here in the city but... it's only available until age three and her birthday is the following Sunday. So, that means they evaluate her and then she would qualify to go into preschool at Chicago Public Schools as a three-year old.

Obviously I still have a lot to learn about how all of this is going to work, but it should be enlightening. Whether she has a qualifying delay or not, I was told speaking is one of the easiest things to fix versus issues with cognition. If nothing else, I hope the evaluators can give me some tips and tricks on how to get Ada to communicate better with us. She has been so frustrated lately and has resorted to pulling us over to things she wants and pointing, whining, and crying despite our best efforts to encourage her to "use your words". She has a ton of words, she just isn't stringing them together very often. And it is even more obvious when we are around her friends and they are talking in pargraphs. We'll get there. We just might need a little help figuring out how.

Moral of the story: Invest in the time it takes to teach your child to communicate, and stay on top of their development. If you are concerned in the slightest bit, have them evaluated early. It will save you both a lot of frustration in the long run.

Prepositions Need Work

In an attempt to interest Ada in potty training, we have a potty that doubles as a step stool for the bathroom sink. After a messy mulching excursion and a diaper incident that resulted in a leak, I encouraged Ada to try the potty before giving her a bath. PP in the potty turned into PP on the potty lid while she was standing on the potty as a stool to play with things in the sink. Not really what I was going for but I guess we are getting closer.

Out of your mouth is another tricky one for her as she enjoyed chewing on miscellaneous rocks during our outside time.

Off is a struggle as she continues to jump on me and my belly. I'm really not appreciative of elbow drops at this late stage in my pregnancy.

Eventually she'll have an awesome English teacher that will get her all straightened out. Until then, I'll keep working on it.

Moral of the story: Clear communication takes time, and patience. Be sure to stock up on both at this age.

Coin Management

At the end of each day, Rick empties his pockets out onto the top of his dresser. Eventually the pile gets to be such a mess of papers and receipts and coins and pocket lint and dry cleaner tags that I go over and clean it up or he gets around to sorting it out and tossing out the junk.

What really gets me is the build up of coins. I like to sort out the quarters for when we do laundry in the machines downstairs and put the rest into Ada's college fund jar until we can get to the bank to deposit them. Today, in lieu of opening the top of the "College Fund" jar and dumping them in, I gave her a task. Turns out she is the perfect little coin manager. I tried to get her to count to ten as she dropped them in but she was busy listening to the "clink" sound they made upon hitting the bottom of the bottle. And she really enjoys shaking the jar when she's done. I'm thinking this might become a monthly ritual, or even a nightly ritual when Rick comes home so we have one less pile to sort on his dresser.
Moral of the story: It's never too early to teach your child money management skills. Just be sure the coins don't end up in her mouth.

The Budding Photographer

If she can learn how to keep her fingers away from the lens and sit still long enough to get the camera in focus... she just might have a chance at making this work.She got some tips from Great Uncle Steve...But I'm still working with her on how to hold it so that she looks like a professional.We'll get there. It might take awhile but we'll get there.

Moral of the story: Teaching children anything is best done in baby steps, with a lot of time and patience.

Silverware or Chopsticks?

Ada saw me eat with chopsticks for the first time last week. I grabbed some veggie sushi rolls from the local supermarket for lunch. They looked much better than they really were but that's okay. I didn't think anything of using the chopsticks until she stole them from my hand and tried them out herself...on a grape of all things.

I give her major points for creativity as she held the chopsticks in her right hand, the grape in her left hand, put the grape next to the chopsticks and shoved it into her mouth. Not bad for her first attempt. Now if I could just get her to use her silverware...

Moral of the story: Two-year-olds tend to be copy cats with everything you do. Beware as this may be cute, or problematic.

Allergies at 2?

As parents, we worry about dietary allergies and what we are exposing our children to that could cause an alarming reaction and a scary trip to the emergency room. I’ve never really worried with Ada since neither Rick nor I have a history of allergies. I’m aware of the dangers and know to get her to the ER. I’ve heard stories of peanut allergies mostly. But it never really occurred to me that Ada might have seasonal allergies like Rick. We all had a bad cold during the Winter/Spring season transition, or I assumed it was a cold. Then Rick realized it was allergy season and our doctor suggested Zyrtec. Tree pollen has been bad all month so that could be it. Combined with a four day vacation at Grandma and Grandpas’ houses with multiple dogs and cats, makes me seriously suspect allergies as the cause.

In talking to friends about Ada’s symptoms – coughing so much she throws up clear phlegm or her latest meal, often at night or first thing in the morning, and now involving tons of snot that I’d classify as yellowish and disgusting—I’ve heard that some parents are having success with Zyrtec but it takes a few days to kick in so you have to keep them on it for awhile. Another recommendation was the addition of probiotics (like those found in Activa Yogurt) to her diet, which worked for a friend of a friend. And still another mom suggested getting children allergy tested once they are over two since that's when it is more accurate. I’m not excited about doing that until we know the Zyrtec doesn’t help and if we haven’t had any luck figuring out the causes just by observing her and taking note of what possible triggers may be.

Rick, on the other hand, is all for the allergy testing. Clearly he has never been tested, isn’t totally clear on what it entails and how painful it can be, and hasn't heard the horror stories. Or he just considers the benefits of knowing what she's allergic to more important than that trauma it will put her through. I had a friend who was tested in college and learned that she was allergic to 90% of the allergens she was tested for. I remember her showing me the red welts covering her entire back afterwards all labeled with their corresponding allergens. She was miserable for hours after the skin test. How do you explain that experience to a two-year-old? That’s where I draw the line. If Rick wants to know what the specific allergens are and the doctor recommends Ada should be tested, that’s fine. But I won’t be around when they do it unless they prove to me that it needs to be done.

In talking with other moms of kids with allergies, I am more thankful that Ada hasn’t had any food allergies so far. And I’m planning to stock up on Benedryl allergy strips to put in the car, house, diaper bag, and my purse so that I’m ready to at least buy her, or another child whom I happen to be around, enough time to get to the ER for treatment should they have a bad reaction. I’ve heard they are a lifesaver, literally. Not that I want to live in constant fear of having a kid react to an allergen on my watch, but it would give me more piece of mind since I don't cary EPI pens around in my back pocket.

Moral of the story: Watch for allergic reactions in your own children, be cautions when watching other children, and be prepared to act quickly should an allergy appear. That's the best you can do.

Boy Oh Boy -- It's gonna be a boy

He looks like he's blowing bubbles...but that's just the umbilical cord. All is well in the land of the ultrasound. And he's almost a pound now according to the Doctoress. Pretty neat.

After a half-hour of rubbing goo on my belly and waving the magic wand, we learned that he has two kidneys, a bladder, a brain, four-chambers of his little heart, two hands and two feet, and a whole bunch of man parts.

Yesterday I went to the Doctoress for my 20 week appointment, which is just a checkup and a chance to hear his little heartbeat. It was also a chance to get the official Ultrasound results and reconfirm that all is well in the womb. Turns out, all is well. Also turns out that having an appointment late in the day on a Monday wasn't such a great idea. I rushed to get Ada up from her nap and even called to say I'd be five minutes late. What I should have done was called before waking Ada up to see if they were on schedule and then let her sleep another hour and rescheduled. Oh well. I'll be sure to try that next time.

Since I took Ada with me to the Doctoress' office, and we had to wait a long time, she got to be a bit unruly at times, but all and all was really good for me not having brought any entertainment since we were rushed out of the house in order to get there on time and --wait for an hour. She played with some other patient's coin purse -- that later spilled Tylenol onto the waiting room floor --oops! And danced in the waiting room. She sucked on a Starburst that she got from the receptionist (Don't give my kid candy, or crappy additive-filled unnaturally orange fake peanut butter crackers for that matter. Even if you ask me if it's okay--I always say "yes" just to be polite but I'm thinking "no" is a better answer since she always gets suckers I'm afraid she'll choke on or candy that will rot her teeth. It isn't good for her and you're a Doctoress' office for Pete's sake. Go with chocolates or rice cakes. Or chocolate dipped rice cakes even. Or carrots, celery and organic graham crackers. Yum.)

So here we are waiting in the reception area. Then we get to wait in our exam room. I visit the loo and pee into a cup as always first. Once in the exam room, Ada starts playing with the stirrups. Then she plays on the scale (she's 35.5 lbs). Then she heads over to the sink and the desk area with the tube of lubricant that is on the counter, and the other fun things she shouldn't be getting into. I lifted her up onto the exam table to sit by me and she made it into a slide since it is inclined for us preggos. That got old and dangerous fast. Then it was back to the stirrups and she had a long session with the button that locks and unlocks the door.

Finally the Doctoress appears and apologizes for the long wait. It's just one of those days. She reviews my paperwork, as Ada takes my folder from her and reviews it too. All is well. Time to hear the baby.

The wait was worth it for this picture alone. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with recent baby technology, when you go in for a checkup, they have this microphone on a cord that they push on your belly and it amplifies the heartbeat and gives the Doctoress a reading on the baby's beats per minute. It sounds kind of like a really fast whoosh, whoosh, whoosh -- like 140 beats per minute fast. So that's all the Doctoress had to do at this visit. Up with my shirt, on with the goo, she touches the microphone to my buldge, and Ada looks at me like "What's that mom?" She gets to her knees on the table to have a better look. Then she takes over for the Doctoress by grabbing the microphone and moving it around on my belly and we start laughing and predicting that she's going to be an OB/GYN when she grows up--which terrifies my Doctoress since she thinks it's a nutty profession with no life. I get all cleaned off and sit up. We move Ada back to the floor... and she goes right into OB mode. She even lifted her shirt up first!

Unfortunately, she doesn't realize that she won't get a whoosh, whoosh, whoosh because there is no baby in her belly. But I give her credit for trying.

Moral of the story: Good things come to those who wait, and having a camera phone handy when those good things come is always nice.

Terrible Twos, Really?

Ada turns 2 next month. That's all good, fine and dandy, but I think she's starting the terrible twos and I know I didn't sign up for this.

Oh the tantrums!

I'm glad she doesn't throw big, ridiculous tantrums (at least not yet anyway) because the little ones she has while laying on the sidewalk outside of CVS are enough to embarrass me for weeks. Thankfully, most people walk by and offer words of encouragement to me (It's just a phase. This too shall pass.) or look at Ada and tell her to get up. It's the people who point and laugh who really aren't helping the situation, but they are few and far between.

Oh Ada. Dear, sweet, cute little Ada. The tantrums are just the start of it. She's all fun and great until you want her to do something that she clearly doesn't want to do. It just so happens that she doesn't want to do anything for me in the mornings when I'm trying to get her out of the house by 8:30 to go play at Alison's. She won't sit down for a diaper change. Doesn't want to take off her pajamas or put on her clothes. And I must admit, I finally succumbed to bribing her. I did. And I feel awful for it. So I'm calling it "creative parental negotiations".

I irritated something in my back, likely related to herniated disks in my neck, and can't pick Ada up -- or I should say shouldn't pick Ada up. Do you have any idea how hard that makes dealing with an almost-2-year-old? Next to impossible. So here we are, trying to change her diaper and clothes. I lifted her out of her crib since there is no other option for her to get out. But I put her down on the chair and let her shimmy to the floor instead of me bending to the floor. Once we get down to the floor, she wants to play on her singing, magical pink pony. I want to change her diaper. In comes the "creative parental negotiations".

"Ada, come here so mommy can change your diaper."

Ada: Ignores me. Then flashes a devilish smile may way that says "make me".

"Do you want a banana for breakfast?" She LOVES bananas after all.

Ada: Eyes focus on me and she stops rocking on the pony.

"If you come sit down here and let me change your diaper, we'll go get a banana from the kitchen."

Ada: Hesitates. Then comes close, but just out of reach and turns away. Then comes closer and tries to escape just as I catch her and lower her to the ground. She begins to whine.

"Just relax. I'll be done in a few seconds and we'll go get your banana."

Now doesn't that seem like one hell of a lot of work just to get her diaper changed in the morning?

I can see that I have my work cut out for me and am going to need a lot of rest, and much more patience. That, and maybe a few stiff drinks and some really good parenting advice books.

Moral of the story: Two is a double edged sword. She's more independent and can help out, but she's learning what it means to be in control. Get ready, it's going to be a long year.

Ada's 1.75 Year Checkup

Since Ada's previous visit to the Doctoress at a year-and-a-half brought up the whole issue of her being a bit delayed on the typical toddler talking schedule, it was time to go in for a mini-checkup.

She's continues to maintain her own path above the standard height and weight chart. She's 32.5 pounds and 35 inches tall (six-foot here she comes!). I made a point to write down the words and sounds I heard her saying in the week prior to the appointment. That was helpful and the Doctoress kept the list in her chart. She's up to maybe 30 words and sounds, adding more each day. This past week she surprised me with a clear "Hi", "Bye bye", and "DD". She's also saying a lot of "Wa Wa" for water now too.

I think it helps that she's with two-year-old Will and our friend Alison a few days a week--she happens to be a former 2nd/3rd grade teacher and understands how kids learn best and develop. And Rick and I have made an effort to try to teach her new things as well. I don't feel like I have the energy to teach her much and I'm not sure how I'm doing, but I am more aware of what I should be doing and how to try to teach her more so I think that is helping. She's nowhere near the chatty Cathy that my niece is at age 3, but I think she's well on her way.

Moral of the story: Pay attention to where your child's development should be in relation to other kids his/her age so you know when something isn't quite right. The sooner you know, the sooner you can work towards a solution and possible eliminate the issue all together.

Ada's Speech Update

As I mentioned before, Ada's been a bit slow to talk so far and at her 1.5 year checkup, the doctor encouraged me to pay attention to Ada's speech and work with her to improve her language skills.

To do so, I called a friend who is a speech pathologist and she gave me a bunch of pointers. (Play games where you name stuff, give Ada options - Apple or Orange?, use picture books and repeat names of everyday items, point to your mouth to show Ada how a sound is made and repeat it for several items - bunny, ball, broom, book, bag, bubbles, stop using sign language and doing everything for her, etc.) Rick, our nanny and I have been working with Ada a lot lately and trying out best to get her speaking. She's now going on 20 months and I'm starting to see improvements. Now she's saying Dadda and Momma when we are around respectively instead of just babbling. She says Ba for Ball -- doesn't quite have the L sound on the end. And we keep hearing words come out even if she doesn't ever repeat them again (making me wonder if I'm crazy and making it all up.) I think Ba Ba is baby. She has other sounds she makes too so that's good (according to my friend the speech pathologist). Her cognition is great (as they say) and she's understanding more and more as we work with her. I used to think that we could just sit in the same room with her and she'd absorb all the fun stuff happening in the world around her and magically she'd start talking. Maybe that's the case for some kids but this one seems to need a bit more hand-holding and guidance. I'm okay with that. Especially when I can now claim she said Momma first while I was around, then Dadda (which we're trying to make into Dad-dy still) and Ba for ball is a close third.

She's also able to identify a lot more things when we read: ball, baby, bunny, apple, orange, dog, cat. And she can meow so there is hope for her still.

Moral of the story: Pay attention to your child's development and if there seems to be an issue or they are slow to develop, don't freak out. Learn what you can do to improve the situation and figure out what the issue is before you freak. In our case, I still think it's just another case of Ada taking her time and doing things at her own pace. At least that's what I'm spending all of my energy on instead of freaking out.

1.5 Year Check Up

Today was Ada's 1.5 year checkup. She got another shot (whoopity do). Then the doctoress pulled out the milestone checklist to see how Ada is doing compare to other kids. She's still off the charts for height and weight. Her gross motor skills are fine. But her communications skills are lacking. One theory is that she uses sign language pretty well and that's slowing down the need for her to use words. At this age, she should have five to twenty words or so. Ada says Mama, Dada, BaBa (not for bottle -- just because) and that's it.

The theory now is that we go back in three months to check on her progress and re-evaluate, just in case. If she's progressing nicely and just a bit behind the curve, that's fine. Otherwise, we can meet with a speech pathologist (or is it speech therapist?) and see if we need to focus on something specific. We're going to try to work with more picture books and focus on body parts, colors, numbers, common household objects, etc. I'm thinking a little less time spent with her all time favorite Finding Nemo DVD won't hurt (She only watches it once or twice a week so don't get all excited that TV is my babysitter since I don't even have TV access. We only get that snowy fuzz, and maybe channel 2 if it is sunny out.) Feel free to leave comments or email me with any tips if you've been in this spot before. I'm sure she's just taking her time and working us as much as she can and I'm not worried. There is a difference between being worried about something and keeping an eye on it. I'm keeping an eye on it...and her size since she's still off the charts -- but that runs in the family.

Speaking of height, at 34 inches -- if you double that -- since they say a kid's height at age 2 doubled is their likely adult height -- she's already going to be 5'8" and she's got six more months to grow. I really need to get Aunt Heather to commit to teaching her basketball and volleyball since she played Cornell. I can't pass up that opportunity for Ada --but I'm not going to be some pushy mom that makes her play sports if she really wants to go out for the ballet or theater or start her own dog walking business at age ten. I'm cool with all of that.

Back to her doctoress visit...

I then asked about potty training as I've started to do some research and the Doctoress recommended getting a potty and getting Ada used to it. Start explaining when we go to the bathroom and referencing the potty. Give her some time to acclimate to the potty and accept it as her own. That sort of thing. I've had a few mom's tell me their potty training stories and advice so again, if you have anything to add on that topic, please feel free to leave a comment below and I'd be happy to consider it. We're at ground zero for this stuff and I don't want to mess it up.

My next-to-final beef of the day is Ada's shoe size. Her feet keep getting bigger and bigger, it seems like every week it's a new size. She's already a size 7 and we have a collection of shoes in size 6 and 8 but only one pair of sevens and I bought them from Target, thought they were cute, they had rubber soles so that would be good, and they seemed to fit-- but now that she's worn them a few times, I notice that she slips all over tiled-floors in stores and our hardwood floors at home, so they really aren't that great. And the selection at Target was crap. Totally picked over by the time I got there. Disappointing. So I've sent Grandma Ba on a mission to see what she can find. That way, she gets to fill her need to buy cute things for Ada, Ada gets new shoes, and I don't have to fight the crowds and crappy selection at Target(not to knock target because I do like that store for the most part -- minus their current selection of sunglasses and that's only because I just broke mine camping... but I digress, again.)

And my final beef of the day... dun, dun, dun... the damn black berry tree in front of our neighbor's house! Don't get me wrong. I love the tree, its beautiful shade, its size (big for a city tree), and its ability to freshen the air I breath. Love all that. Hate the damn berries that fall all over the sidewalk, making it a purpley/black gooey mess for a month and a half each year. Rick's smart enough to walk across the street to avoid it but since I tend to park just beyond it on this side of the street, that doesn't always work. (We WILL NOT park under it as the car then turns into a giant mess of crap, covered in berries and pigeon poo and there is no hope for ever getting it clean for less than a $20 car wash.)

So today, on the way to Ada's Doctoress appointment, we had to walk through the berries to get to the car. As I buckle her into her car seat, I notice some of them embedded into the soles of her stupid pink sandals that don't fit the cute chubbiness of her feet, and I make a mental note to clean them at some point and hope they don't stain the car. Of course, what happens when I get to the Doctoress' office? Ada wants to stand on my lap. In her pink shoes. With berries on the bottom. And what happens? My jeans (albeit my "fat" jeans which offer the poorest fit of all jeans in my collection) get berry rubbed into the left front thigh. Nice. Thanks Ada. Just what I've always wanted.

But wait... it keeps going. She gets berries on the paper covering the baby scale when they weigh and her (32.2 lbs), on the paper covering the exam table when they check her ears, all over the tiled floor of the exam room, a few spots on the carpet outside of the exam room, just above my cleavage (if I had any--how did berries get there anyway?), and all over her inner calves. A mess. Luckily, we saw our friend Jen outside on the walk back home from the car and crossed the street to talk to her, and thereby avoiding the berries on the sidewalk. And, I remembered to take Ada's shoes off immediately upon entering the house so she didn't stain our new living room rug -- the one with a big cream colored circle on it that is just waiting for a big nasty purple berry stain.

Moral of the story: Days like this are the reason we have other mom friends we can call or chat with and vent to. It makes it all just that much easier to deal with.

Ada gets kissed... and what's parent protocol?

Saturday was a beautiful day here in the city. After Ada took a nice afternoon nap (thank goodness she's back on a napping schedule! Yippee!) we headed out to the park for some fun on the baby swing--and an attempt at the slide.

I'm not sure what parks look like in Suburban areas but parks in the city on a nice day are hopping. There must have been 10 kids at this park when we arrive, and either one or both of their parents accompanied them. Then 20 more kids came and went during our visit. It was neat to see the variety of parents in the neighborhood. How different their kids are in age--or really, how close they all seemed to be to Ada's age. However, even though the kids are all similar ages, the parents seem to range from about 27-45. I thought one of the woman might have been a nanny which I thought odd on a Saturday. And one woman appeared to be some one's crazy Aunt as she was having way too much fun--which I know isn't really even possible but she was more excited to be at the park than anyone I've ever seen. She arrived right as we were leaving but it was still interesting.

So here we are in the park. Rick, Ada and I and about 20 other people we don't know. Ada's enjoying the swing, then we move to the little slide. She spun around while going down and almost knocked her head on the side so we moved to the big slide in order to ride with her. That makes sense right? Advance the danger level so we can protect her? Rick went first. This is an older model slide. All metal. Has a metal dome over the top to keep kids from falling over the edge. Rick put Ada on his lap, hunched over so he'd clear the ceiling of the dome, and came shooting out of the slide at top speed. It was about 15 feet high and it is angled funny at the bottom so that it throws you into the ground instead of boosting you into air for your landing. Luckily, Rick was quick enough to prevent a wipe out.

Then I went. A tight fit even for me, and a reminder that I am claustrophobic, we made it down the slide with a similar ending of me almost smashing into the ground at the end. Rick took another turn and then we were saved by our friend Sarah and her little boy Aaron. They distracted us so that Ada could eat some dirt and wood chips while climbing on the jungle gym. A few more parents arrived and the park got pretty full at this point. Aaron was playing ball with a little boy and then ran off to climb the steps to the slide. The little boy, just a few inches taller than Ada--maybe 2 years old, ran to his mom to get a hug and kiss. (We don't know this boy mind you.) Then he crawled down from her arms and ... what's that? He's headed toward Ada with puckered lips. Oh, this is kinda cute. Here it comes. Damn. Why don't I have the camera? Smooch! He gave her a big kiss on the face and then, because he didn't know his own strength, as he was hugging her, he accidentally pushed her over, which ended in Ada bumping her head on the side of the slide. She came up all screams. Mild, fake I'm-fine-but-I-want-some-attention-now-damn-it screams. Poor thing didn't even know what to do. But it was quite funny to see the little boy's parents reaction. They apologized for him knocking her over and went on to a different part of the park. We made light of it and kept playing. No big deal. Ada was fine and went right back to running around and eating dirt so we knew she wasn't hurt at all.

But this brought up the conversation between Rick and I on the walk home.

What is proper parent protocol when your toddlers are playing?
I try to be a very hands-off mom when Ada plays so that she can explore on her own and learn new things and be independent. And when she is fighting with another kid over a toy, chances are she didn't start it because she's very passive. But the other parents frequently jump in and say "Now Billy, that's not how we share. Ada had that first. Let her play with it and then you can have a turn when she's done." Is that how you get your kids to share? How much do they really understand at this age? And what do you do when your kid is the punk at playgroup who can't get along with other kids?

We also talked about how to react when Aaron took Ada's water and started drinking it. I know Ada isn't sick so I wasn't worried or bothered that he was drinking from it. I had another water bottle with me she could use anyway. But Rick said "He can have it. That's fine." And realized later that maybe he should have directed that comment to Sarah instead of to Aaron. As in, "Aaron, how about we ask your mom if you can have Ada's water. Sarah, it's fine with us if he has Ada's water. She isn't sick and we have more. But only if it is okay with you."

That just seems like a whole lot of work to me. Parents have to walk on eggshells all the time trying to teach their kids manners and not tick off the other parents in the park. Is there an easier way? Do parents get less involved once the kids get older?

I also saw a gentleman in the sandbox with his daughter. She picked up another girl's bucket and shovel and he said, "Can you ask her if you can use that?" His daughter didn't say anything but started rubbing her stomach in sign language to say "please" and the girl's parents said, "Oh, it's fine if she plays with that." Then he explained that it is important for him that she's asks to play with it and he encouraged his daughter to use her words since the other little girl might not know the sign for "please".

This parenting stuff is hard work! Who knew.

Eventually I hope to figure all of this out. Maybe I can sign up for a "Mommy's Park Etiquette" class to get on the fast track to being a proper parent. Until then, I'm just going to try to keep my kid from ticking off another kid or parent and do the best to teach her how to mind her manners. But I think I'm going to wait a few more months first. We're still working on saying "mommy" and "daddy" at this point, let alone "please", "thank you", and "may I play with that?"

When your child won't sleep...

Ada hasn't been taking naps very well this past few weeks and I think we've found a solution.

Send in Grandma DD.

We'll hire her out if you don't have one of your own Grandma DD.

And I must disclose that it probably wasn't any sort of magic that DD used but instead, her timing, patience, strong desire to cuddle the munchkin, and a lot of luck.

Rick, Nanny Ashley and I have all been struggling to get Ada to get a consistent nap schedule. I thought we had one for a few weeks around 11 am each day. And then that stopped but Ada's crankiness increased. We've tried a few different things, including using DD as the secret weapon, and today my secret for getting her to nap is to feed her, let her play until she rubs her eyes, feed her a big lunch, let her play some more, and then put her down at 3pm.

She was out until 4:20.

Bliss.

Moral of the story: When in doubt, tucker them out. (and be sure to stuff them if they eat as much as my kid does.)

Inching closer to walking

A week ago Friday, Ada took two steps with nanny Ashley. This past Friday, she took 4 steps unaided with Mom and Dad. Sunday night we got 4 more after a dozen attempts that mildly resembled face planting on replay. Two steps, fall. Two steps, fall. Two steps, fall.

During this stage I'm getting a few common comments:

She'll be walking anytime now.

She'll start running the next week.

She'll slim down once she starts walking everywhere.

You're so lucky she's a bit of a late bloomer. (I know. It's awesome. I don't know why people aren't more proud of their late bloomers. I know I am. Go Ada! Take your time honey. Mommy's so proud of you!)

Every child develops differently. I'm sure she's in the range of what's normal.
Followed by: My first didn't walk until 16 months but my second wanted to chase her around so she started at 9 months.

I think kids start walking sooner when they have a dog/cat or siblings to chase after. Gives them more motivation.

I'm just excited that her walker can entertain her for a half hour. She's getting more exercise. She is taking one nap that can be anywhere from a half hour to two hours long. And she's still sleeping beautifully through the night.

I will admit that Rick and I shared a pretty big "high five" as soon as she made it those four steps. I'm glad we were both there for it. And I'm really glad she hasn't just taken off and is still taking her time to figure out how she wants to go about doing things. This is all on her timeline.
She's in charge.
She's taking her own sweet little time.
Not growing up too fast.
Savoring each stage in life.

And I think that's the moral of this story, and the story of life. So s-l--o---w d-----0-----w----n.

When's my baby ready for real solid, solid foods?

This has been a question of mine for a few months now. Several friends with kids have been telling me that there just comes a day when their kid stopped wanting everything pureed and moved on to solid solids. I didn't want to hold Ada back so I kept trying new things and hoping that she didn't decided to move on right after I had just spent a mint on Gerber baby food jars. I tried to keep a low inventory just in case, which is a tough challenge as babies seem to be bottomless pits at this stage and predicting how much she'd need was tough. And friends made it sound like "suddenly, out of the blue, he stopped eating pureed stuff all together." What? Then what would I do with all of these jars of sweet potatoes and bananas and oatmeal? I'm not going to eat that crap.

Here I was in a tizzy for no reason. I thought something along the lines of "once you go solid, you never go back." Not the case at all, for Ada at least. Not only is she slow to start walking, which my Doctoress theorizes is due to her amazonianess, she's also one of the later movers to solid foods. Seeing how messy it is for her to feed herself solids, I don't really have any problem with this fact. No, really. I'm okay with spending a bit more time feeding her from the jar if it saves me from giving her 20 baths a day.

Then one day, it happened. I gave her a little bit of scrambled egg, and she inhaled it. Her two little hands couldn't shovel it into her mouth fast enough. Then next day, it was a pancake. Now, it's pretty much anything she can get her hands on. But she's still okay with things that are pureed and things that come out of a jar, thankfully. It turns out that she might be more of a gradual changer instead of a "duh mom, that's like, so yesterday." I see this as a blessing really as I've never been up on the times. I mean, just yesterday I bought a new nail polish that is for the fall 08 season. We are rounding the corner into spring of 09 but I just didn't like the spring 09 color as well as I like the 08 tint. What can I say?

Moral of the story: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Childhood development questionnaires suck

When Ada had her nine month checkup and shots, and I may have said this already so bear with me, the nurse gave me her 1 year checkup questionnaire so that I could have it completed before I came in for the appointment. That's great and I'm all about efficiency and I understand that they do it to make sure your child doesn't have any developmental delays, and more importantly that if he or she is delayed, they can help correct or diagnose problems early. That's all great. In the meantime, I'm doing this survey thinking "Man my kid is a late bloomer." There are five or six categories all judging different areas of development. Communication (She's a shoe-in. DD and I are socialites and it's in her jeans.) Dexterity. Coordination. Motor skills. Stuff like that.

"Does she help push her hands through the holes when you dress her?" Yes. 2 Points. Woo hoo.

"Does she put things in a box in succession?" No. Um, maybe. How many points does she get for maybe? One. Sure. That sounds fine.

"Does she scribble with a pen or pencil on paper if you show her how?" No. She tries to eat the pen and stab out her eye. Any points for that?

"Does she follow a command without hand gestures?" Not really.

"Does she say a word other than Ma ma or Da da or point to things she wants?" No. She just cries until I figure it out and then she's happy again for the next five minutes and repeat.

"Does she hop on one foot and rub her belly while taking shots of tequila?" Definitely not.

This thing is worse than taking the GMAT, ACT, SAT and LCAT all at once. My goodness!

In the end, it turns out that Ada didn't fall into any of the "concern areas" but she also isn't head of her class. She is however, off the charts for both height and weight so even if she can't lift her foot in anticipation of me putting her pants on, she can still squash your puny little runt of a kid like a grape under her amazonian foot. Take that!

Moral of the story: They aren't kidding when they say that every child figures things out at their own pace. For some kids, doing the tequila shot trick is a higher priority than others. For my kid, she's more into letting the other kids figure things out and then copying all of their tricks. I have to believe somewhere in her future that talent will be rewarded.