The Whole Cow

Now that Ada is one, we've made the switch to Whole Milk also known as Whole Cow's Milk and, unbeknownst to me, officially called Vitamin D Milk. Here I am in the store looking for "Whole Milk" to appear on the label and it's nowhere to be found. Rick told me that Vitamin D Milk really is whole milk since it isn't skim, half and half, 1%, 2%, heavy whipping cream or anything else cow related. His logic is sound so I trust him on this one, but secretly, I still wonder if there isn't some magic milk jug somewhere labeled Whole Milk for blondes like me.

The good news is that Ada loves whole milk. The bad news is that right after we made the switch and I weened her off breastmilk and nursing, she got an awful cough/cold/upset stomach bug over the holidays that made her a little mess of a toddler-- oh yeah, she's a "toddler" now. So we spent most of the holidays with her asleep on my chest, not eating or drinking much of anything, and throwing up what she did eat and drink. At one point I came up with this theory that she might be allergic to the Whole Milk and that's what was causing her to vomit. So we would have put her back on formula, but we ran out as we had planned to use it up over the holidays. Silly and frugal me chose a generic formula and also bought it from a local grocery store that we don't have back home. The closest Dominick's was a half hour away and the snowstorms this season were unrelenting, making a trip to neighboring St. Charles unlikely. In my infinite wisdom, we switched her to Soy milk for a day. I sent Rick to the store to get soy milk and he came back with a $5 bottle of Enfamil Soy Baby Formula. He wasn't happy when I told him he clearly didn't understand what I said because I wanted soy milk, not formula. Poor guy got nailed by a torrential downpour as soon as he left to go to the store for it too. Here we are, packing the car, ready to leave Ada with Grandma Ba for 5 days, Ada's sick, she isn't keeping milk of any kind down, the weather is awful, and I'm just trying to get her some soy milk. Luckily, my dad offered to go buy some soy milk while Rick finished packing the car in the nasty rain and I dealt with poor, sad, pathetic, unhappy, sick Ada.

Finally, we tried to soy milk and left her with it for her vacation with Grandma. Grandma decided later that night that it probably wasn't the Vitamin D Whole Milk or the Soy Milk but the fact that she was so congested that any milk would make her spit up. So Ada went off milk for 4 or 5 days. She had some watered down apple juice and bland food. I was sure she wouldn't possibly be able to survive without milk for 5 days, but she did. And she's fine. And on the 5th day, she drank 15 ounces or more. And then about 20 ounces a day ever since. Go figure.

Hopefully next year will be better and cootie-free.

Moral of the story: Whole Milk comes from purple cows in the Amazon rainforest. It's imported through the Panama Pipeline and bottled by little elves who live in a tree house in Jersey. To keep everyone guessing, the elves are paid to re-label the milk jugs as Vitamin D milk and pretend it comes from Cows in Wisconsin. Don't let them fool you.