Wednesday, March 25, 2009

What's the Maximum Bad Mother Points for One Day

Is there a maximum for bad mother points one can be awarded in one day? I think not, but today will be one of my contenders for the high score.

After returning from taking Ada on a long walk with a neighborhood mom friend (+1 good mom point for getting out of the house), I realized that this might not have been a "good" mommy hour for me...

It started with a change in the weather. The clouds rolled in and the temperature was about 10 degrees cooler than our morning walk (+1 good mom point--I never do 2 walks a day) but I didn't realize that and process it until we were way too far into our walk to turn back and add layers. I always dress her too warmly so this was a first. (-1 bad mom point for dressing her inappropriately for the weather). Because she had kicked off her shoe during the last walk and made me backtrack a block to find it, I didn't put shoes on her either. (-1 bad mom point for not putting shoes on her.) As I was leaving the house, I remembered that she might get hungry and thirsty so I brought a sippy cup of water, a teething biscuit and a piece of string cheese as a snack (+2 good mom points for remembering basic necessities). I didn't buckle her into the stroller properly because I was lazy, and only buckled her in part of the way for part of the trip, and she wasn't buckled for the most dangerous part of going up and down the stairs between the inner and outer vestibule doors to our place (at least -1 bad mom point, if not 2 or 3).

During the walk, she got fussy... so I gave her a stick off the ground to play with. (-1 bad mom point) and I didn't wash it off (that could be a bonus bad mom point.) After chewing on the dirty stick from the ground that had probably been you-know-what-ed-on by every dog in the city, I made the comment that I had a 90% chance of it not being really "dirty" since it rained yesterday. (-1 bad mom point.) The excitement of the stick quickly wore off so I moved on to a rock. It was too big for her to choke on (+1 good mom point), but it was a rock (-1 bad mom point), it was dirty (-1 bad mom point) and the only reason I needed to use the rock and the stick was because I forgot to bring any toys for our journey (-1 bad mom point).

Once Ada got fussy, we decided to head home. On the way, I just happened to mention to my friend that the store we were walking by, Bittersweet on Belmont, was really good. She agreed and we stopped to "warm up the kids" (-1 bad mom point for using my daughter as an excuse to consume chocolate.) Then I made the mistake of ordering the most intense, decadent, rich flour less chocolate cake and proceeded to share it with Ada (+1 good mom point for sharing, -1 bad mom point for sharing something so chocolaty and surely filled with sugar). At the end of our adventure at Bittersweet it was apparent that I had again come unprepared as my friend, let's call her Super Mom Jen, whipped out baby wipes for which she gets +1 good mom point for having them in her stroller, +1 for washing her hands with them before eating, and +1 for sharing them with a mom and baby in need (me and Ada) since my child decided it was a good idea to wear the delicate chocolate cake all over her face, shirt, pants and hands. Nice. (-1 bad mom point for me not being prepared for all potential circumstances including a stop for chocolate and -1 bad mom point for picking the messiest treat in the entire shop. It was covered with cocoa powder!) And finally, -1 bad mom point for letting Ada momentarily grab the real silver table knife to use as teething relief.

Upon leaving we both got +1 good mom point for being able to get strollers through 2 doors that opened in opposite directions in the tiny vestibule and down one step onto the street. The rest of the walk home was pretty uneventful, but I think that is only because I had already used up all of my bad mom points for the day. And I'm sure I'm forgetting a few others that took place earlier, but my brain isn't working today so I can't even remember what they would have been.

So what is that? I think it's -4 overall. And Super Mom Jen is at +6 (her baby didn't cry and took a nap during the walk which is a sure +2, and she took a walk with the intent of working off baby weight whereas I just needed to get away for a bit).

Moral of the story: Hang out with good moms and hope that some of their goodness rubs off on you and your baby. :)

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